You have a responsibility to help your child grow into a responsible, empathetic, and functional adult. Sure, being friends with your kid feels great, but you’re not their friend; you’re something more – a parent. This is why you need to stop prioritizing decisions that will make them like you more in the short term and find things that will turn their life for the better in the long run.
Some of these things won’t immediately seem like favors. After all, giving them more chores seems the opposite. However, in the long run, each of these six things will help them grow and turn them into a much better person. With that in mind, here are the top six favors you should start doing for your kids right now.
1. Track what they’re doing online
You need to understand the importance of tracking their activity in the digital world. Kids are masters at going around parental restrictions. In fact, they might even be digital-savvier than you are, which means that getting around any ban or block you install on their device won’t be that hard.
The solution is for you to find some of the best free spy apps, pick one, and install it on your device. This way, you’ll have the oversight without them ever getting wiser. According to tech specialist Krishi Chowdhary from Technopedia, these tools should give you access to their conversations, social media activity, browsing history, photos, and call records.
Is this illegal? Absolutely not! You can monitor your child and install a spy app on their device without any kind of permit. Is it immoral or a breach of their trust? Not if you’re doing it for their own protection.
Let’s face it: there is so much dangerous content online, and you’re right to be afraid of it.
2. Empower them whenever you can
A lot of parents make the mistake of overestimating the concept of tough love. There’s no such thing as tough love with (most) children. You won’t make them tougher by criticizing them, and not all kids will try harder because you tell them they’re not good enough.
For a lot of these kids, this is enough for their self-confidence to wither and set them on a lifetime of failure.
If your kids tell you that they don’t want to wear that shirt to school today, don’t make them. If you do, they’ll go to school with slouched shoulders and be too self-aware. Let them wear what they want to wear because this is what they’ll feel the most comfortable in.
Now, we understand that there’s also the opposite problem. This is the so-called everyone-gets-a-trophy phenomenon. It can easily be avoided if you just pay a bit more attention to what you’re praising your kids for. You shouldn’t praise them for results when results are lacking. However, there’s no harm in praising them for their effort, is there? For example, in 12th grade math classes, acknowledging the effort put into solving complex problems can encourage persistence and growth, even if the results are not perfect.
3. Teach them financial responsibility
The biggest complaint about the educational system is that it doesn’t teach kids how to file their taxes while making them memorize all six wives of Henry VIII. Instead of lamenting and complaining, why not resolve the issue on your own? Why not take matters into your own hands and teach your kids how to be more financially responsible?
One of the things you could do is get them a debit card when they become teens. This way, they’ll have to learn how to manage their own money. First of all, there are no hidden fees. Second, they won’t have to take your card in order to buy games from Steam or get themselves new skins in Fortnite.
This is also more secure than cash, which is always a concern when teens are involved.
Let’s face it: We live in a digital world, and most parents are still teaching their kids about finances with piggy banks and coins. If you can teach your kids a thing or two about credit cards and cryptocurrency, you’ll give them a significant head start.
4. Give them love
You can give them your time, your attention, and your money, but all of these things they can get elsewhere. One thing that they’ll never get elsewhere is parental love. Why? Well, because it’s unconditional.
You need to teach your child that you don’t love them because they’re pretty, smart, or even well-behaved. They need to understand that you love them because you’re their parent and they’re your kid. Would you not love them if they weren’t beautiful or smart? Do you only love them when they behave properly?
The thing is that you need to let them know that just because you’re mad or because you’ve grounded them, that doesn’t mean that you don’t love them.
They need to have that one thing that they know they have no matter what happens in life. Still, this is something you have to engrain in them while they’re young. Also, don’t just say it, show it.
5. Teach them to take accountability
One of the biggest oversights in modern parenting is teaching their kid that they’ve done nothing wrong no matter what. Sure, having your kid’s side feels good. It’s a lot better for them to know that you’ll have their back even when they’re wrong, seeing as how they’re more likely to come forward when they do something wrong.
While you may want to have their back publicly, make sure to give them an earful when you’re left alone. Explain to them that they have a certain responsibility. Tell them why this matters and why it’s important that they own up to their own mistakes.
This is the only way for them to grow as a person. Think about the quote that you learn best from your own mistakes. How will they ever do that if they go through life convinced that nothing is ever truly their fault? In other words, while it seems like you’re having their back, you’re actually doing theme one of the biggest disservices of their lives.
6. Encourage their interests
Kids love what they’re good at, and when they discover an interest that they can memorize easily, a sport that they excel at, or a musical instrument they’re great at, you need to push them in that direction.
Competence breeds confidence. Take the most introverted and socially anxious person on the planet and put them in a group where the topic is the lore behind their favorite fictional world, book, or video game. You’ll witness a miracle; you’ll see them opening up in front of complete strangers, even taking over the floor.
Sure, everyone can pursue their own interests, regardless of parental interference. However, encouraging and even financing some of their hobbies can make these things so much easier.
Also, not every hobby necessarily has to stay a hobby. If they’re creative, their drawings or stories can eventually turn them into artists. You could help them pick a career that they’re really passionate about.
Most importantly, when they speak about their passion, listen! Your attention matters more than anyone else’s.
Think about their future when making decisions
Doing something instead of praising them when you should scold them and just trusting them unconditionally can feel good, but you’re a parent, and being a parent is about more than how you feel. When making decisions, try to think of the ripple effect this will cause further down the line. When choosing between the best decision for you and the best decision for them, always choose the latter.
