Why Favoritism is a Natural Management Behavior

Let’s face it: favoritism in the workplace is real. Whether you’re the one doing the favoring or the one being favored, it’s one of those tricky dynamics we don’t really like to talk about. But here’s the kicker: favoritism, in many cases, isn’t even something we’re fully conscious of. In fact, I’d argue that favoritism, while frowned upon, is actually a natural behavior in management—and not always in the way you might think.

Now, before you roll your eyes or get defensive, let’s have a real conversation about it. I’m not here to excuse blatant favoritism that leaves others feeling overlooked or mistreated. I’m here to explore why it happens, why it’s part of human nature, and how it sneaks into even the most well-intentioned management practices. We’ve all been there: we prefer to work with certain people, trust them more, and perhaps unintentionally reward them with opportunities, praise, or even promotions. It’s not because we’re trying to be unfair—it just happens.

So, let’s break this down and take a closer look at why favoritism is natural, how it shows up in management, and what we can do to be more conscious of it moving forward.

The Human Element: We Like Who We Like

One of the first things we need to acknowledge is that humans, by nature, are wired to form preferences. Whether it’s in our social circles or our workplaces, we gravitate towards people we enjoy being around or who make us feel comfortable. If you’ve ever managed a team, you know how much easier it is to collaborate with people who understand your communication style, share similar values, or just get things done without any drama.

This isn’t about playing favorites intentionally; it’s about working with people who make your job easier. From a manager’s perspective, it’s only natural to lean towards those you trust and who deliver consistently. It saves time, reduces stress, and helps you feel more confident about the work being done. And it’s not like you’re actively trying to ignore others on the team—it’s just that the people you trust tend to get more of your attention because, frankly, they make life simpler.

This dynamic happens almost subconsciously. We don’t always realize that we’re favoring someone, but our brain is constantly processing interactions, body language, and performance. When you think about it, wouldn’t you naturally gravitate towards people who help you succeed? This inclination isn’t unique to management, either—it’s something we all experience. But when you’re in a position of authority, it becomes more visible, and it can have a bigger impact.

Trust and Reliability: The Core of Favoritism

Let’s dig a bit deeper into this idea of trust and reliability because it’s at the heart of why favoritism develops in the workplace. As a manager, your job depends on the team’s performance. You have goals to meet, deadlines to hit, and problems to solve. You’re constantly evaluating who on your team can handle the pressure and who’s going to rise to the occasion. Naturally, when someone has proven themselves time and time again, they earn your trust. You start relying on them more because, well, they’ve shown they can deliver.

This is where favoritism can start to creep in. It’s not that you’re purposefully giving this person special treatment; it’s just that you’ve built a track record with them. You know what to expect. In contrast, someone on the team who’s either newer or less consistent might not get the same opportunities simply because they haven’t had the chance to build that same level of trust.

This cycle can be hard to break because, let’s be real, we like to stick with what works. It’s efficient. It makes your job easier when you know who you can count on. And let’s not forget that managing people is hard enough without constantly feeling like you’re rolling the dice with someone’s performance. So, when someone has proven themselves reliable, it’s natural to favor them.

Similarity Bias: We Relate to People Like Us

Another reason favoritism happens is due to something called similarity bias. Simply put, we tend to prefer people who are like us. It’s a cognitive bias that operates in the background, influencing our decisions without us even realizing it. In a management context, this means that if you have a team member who shares similar interests, communication styles, or even values, you might unconsciously favor them.

Think about it: if you’re managing someone who has the same work ethic as you or approaches problems in a way that resonates with your own thinking, it’s easier to work with them. You might even develop a rapport with them that feels more natural than it does with others. This doesn’t mean you don’t like the rest of your team—it’s just that working with people who “get you” tends to feel more effortless.

Now, the problem with similarity bias is that it can create an uneven playing field. Those who align with your personality or work style might get more opportunities, while others who are different (but equally talented) might not get the same chances. This isn’t because you’re consciously deciding to ignore them—it’s just that you naturally gravitate towards those you relate to.

The Halo Effect: When One Strength Outshines the Rest

Ever hear of the halo effect? It’s the idea that when someone excels in one area, we tend to assume they’re great in other areas, too. In management, this can play out as favoritism. If you have a team member who consistently knocks it out of the park on projects, you might start viewing them as a superstar. You might start assuming that they’re just as great at everything else, even though that might not be the case.

This kind of favoritism can be tricky because it’s based on actual performance—but only in one area. You might start giving this person more responsibilities or higher-stakes tasks because you believe they’ll excel, even if their skillset doesn’t necessarily match up to those new tasks. In the meantime, other team members who might be better suited for those tasks get overlooked.

What’s interesting here is that the halo effect isn’t always about pure skill. It can also apply to personality traits or work ethic. If someone is particularly positive or easy to work with, you might assume they’re great at everything, even if their performance doesn’t necessarily reflect that. It’s a bias that sneaks in and can affect how you delegate work, mentor your team, and ultimately decide who gets to move up.

Why We Need to Be Aware of Favoritism

So, if favoritism is natural, does that mean it’s okay? Not exactly. Just because something is part of human nature doesn’t mean it’s always good, especially in the workplace. The key here is to be aware of it so that you can manage it more effectively. Favoritism can lead to resentment among team members who feel like they’re being overlooked, even if that’s not your intention. And over time, it can erode trust within the team.

The first step in managing favoritism is acknowledging that it exists. The second is understanding that it’s often unconscious. Once you accept these realities, you can start taking steps to ensure that you’re not letting your natural preferences get in the way of fairness. That doesn’t mean you should stop trusting the people who have proven themselves—it just means you should be mindful of how much attention and opportunity you’re giving to everyone on your team.

How to Manage Favoritism (Without Ignoring Human Nature)

Now that we’ve acknowledged favoritism is a natural behavior, let’s talk about how we can manage it. The goal here isn’t to eliminate favoritism altogether because, quite frankly, that’s impossible. We’re human, after all. But there are ways to make sure it doesn’t negatively impact the team.

1. Self-Awareness Is Key
   The more aware you are of your own biases and preferences, the better you can manage them. Take a step back every now and then and ask yourself if you’re giving certain people more opportunities than others. Are you favoring someone simply because they’re like you, or because they’ve earned it based on performance? Being honest with yourself is crucial.
2. Diversify Your Interactions
   It’s easy to fall into the trap of always working with the same people, especially if they make your job easier. But try to spread your attention across the whole team. Make an effort to get to know everyone’s strengths and weaknesses, even if it takes more time. This can help you avoid relying too heavily on just a few people.
3. Create Objective Criteria for Decision-Making
   One of the best ways to manage favoritism is by creating clear, objective criteria for things like promotions, raises, and project assignments. When you have a standard set of metrics, it’s easier to justify your decisions and ensure that you’re being fair to everyone.
4. Encourage Feedback
   Ask your team for feedback, not just on your management style, but on how they feel about opportunities within the team. If someone feels like they’re being overlooked, give them the chance to voice their concerns. This can help you catch any blind spots you might have.
5. Rotate Responsibilities
   If possible, try rotating responsibilities or giving different team members the chance to lead projects. This not only helps you avoid playing favorites, but it also gives everyone the opportunity to grow and prove themselves.

Wrapping It Up

Favoritism is one of those uncomfortable truths in management. It happens, and it’s often not intentional. But by recognizing that it’s a natural part of being human, we can work towards minimizing its negative impact. The goal isn’t to eliminate favoritism completely—that’s impossible. Instead, it’s about being aware of it, managing it, and making sure it doesn’t overshadow fairness and opportunity for everyone.

At the end of the day, the most successful managers are the ones who can balance their natural instincts with fairness and objectivity. That doesn’t mean ignoring your preferences, but it does mean being mindful of how those preferences affect your team. By doing so, you can create an environment where everyone has a fair shot at success, and that’s something we can all strive for.