Let’s be real: jealousy is everywhere in the workplace, even if nobody wants to admit it.
It hides behind fake compliments, passive-aggressive remarks, eye-rolls in meetings, and the deafening silence after your promotion is announced. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of workplace jealousy, you know how uncomfortable, distracting, and sometimes downright toxic it can be. But what’s worse is when you’re the one feeling jealous—and trying to pretend you’re not.
Professional jealousy is natural, but if it goes unchecked, it can wreck careers, destroy team morale, and ruin reputations. Whether you’re dealing with jealous coworkers or battling your own green-eyed monster, this guide will walk you through how to manage jealousy in a healthy, strategic, and emotionally intelligent way.
Handling Jealousy at Work
1. Recognize the Signs of Jealousy (In Others and In Yourself)
Let’s start with awareness. Jealousy wears a lot of disguises. Here’s what to look out for:
| Behavior | Likely Motivated By Jealousy? |
|---|---|
| Cold shoulder after your success | Very likely |
| Undermining in meetings | Almost always |
| Copying your work or ideas | Sometimes |
| Overly critical feedback | Often |
| Exclusion from group events | Common |
Jealousy shows up when someone feels threatened by your success, your popularity, or even your potential. But don’t just look outward. Take a second to check in with yourself. Are you:
- Secretly annoyed when a colleague gets praise?
- Feeling left behind when others get promoted?
- Downplaying others’ wins in your head?
If yes, you’re not a bad person. You’re a human. The key is what you do with those feelings.
2. Understand Where Jealousy Comes From
It’s not random. Jealousy is deeply psychological, and it often stems from insecurity, scarcity thinking, or comparison addiction.
Let’s break that down:
| Cause of Jealousy | What It Really Means |
|---|---|
| Insecurity | “I don’t think I’m good enough.” |
| Scarcity mindset | “There’s not enough success to go around.” |
| Fear of irrelevance | “If they shine, I disappear.” |
| Unmet ambition | “That should’ve been me.” |
| Lack of validation | “Nobody notices how hard I work.” |
According to Psychology Today, jealousy is a complex emotional reaction that’s often triggered by perceived threats to status, relationships, or identity.
The antidote? Reframe your thinking. More on that next.
3. When You’re the One Feeling Jealous
Don’t judge yourself. Be curious instead.
Jealousy is often your subconscious saying, “I want that too.” That’s actually helpful information. Instead of stuffing it down or pretending you don’t care, try this three-step reset:
a. Get honest about the trigger.
Ask yourself:
- What specifically triggered this?
- What does their success remind me of?
- What do I feel is missing in my own career?
b. Reframe jealousy as inspiration.
Turn “Why them?” into “What can I learn from them?” If someone else’s promotion hurts, maybe it’s time to ask for feedback, request new responsibilities, or update your LinkedIn and start exploring.
c. Channel the energy.
Jealousy gives you a lot of emotional fuel. You can either burn bridges with it or build something. Use that intensity to take a course, develop a new skill, or pitch a bold idea.
4. When You’re the Target of Jealousy
Here’s where things get tricky. Other people’s jealousy isn’t your fault, but it can become your problem—especially when it starts to affect collaboration, morale, or even your reputation.
a. Don’t gloat. Stay humble.
Even if you’ve worked your socks off, celebrate with humility. A simple “Thanks, I’m excited to keep learning” can go a long way toward diffusing tension.
b. Don’t shrink to fit in.
The worst thing you can do is play small to make others comfortable. You earned your success. Own it without arrogance. Let your work speak for itself, and stay focused on the bigger picture.
c. Watch for sabotage and document everything.
If the jealousy escalates into behavior like:
- Taking credit for your work
- Leaving you out of communication loops
- Undermining you in front of clients or leadership
…it’s time to document and report it tactfully. Keep records, stay professional, and involve HR or your manager if needed. It’s not “snitching” when it’s strategic self-preservation.
5. How Leaders Should Handle Jealousy on Their Teams
If you’re a team leader, jealousy is your business. Unchecked envy destroys team trust, reduces psychological safety, and creates silos. Here’s how to neutralize it:
a. Celebrate group wins more than individual wins.
Create a culture where success is collective, not competitive. Highlight teamwork, cross-collaboration, and shared outcomes.
b. Reward effort, not just outcomes.
This levels the playing field and keeps resentment in check. People should feel seen before they “win.”
c. Address toxic behavior head-on.
If someone keeps gossiping, gatekeeping, or backstabbing, call it out in private. Be direct, but constructive.
“I’ve noticed some tension around X’s promotion. Let’s talk about how we can move forward as a team.”
d. Promote fairness and transparency.
Jealousy thrives in shadows. If promotions, raises, or opportunities feel secretive or unfair, people will spiral. Make criteria clear and accessible.
6. How to Prevent Jealousy From Taking Root
You can’t stop people from feeling jealous, but you can control how jealousy affects you and your environment.
| Prevention Strategy | Why It Works |
|---|---|
| Be generous with praise | Diffuses tension, builds goodwill |
| Stay focused on your own path | Comparison is a trap |
| Communicate openly | Silence breeds assumptions |
| Support others publicly | You rise by lifting others |
| Share credit often | Reduces the “winner vs loser” dynamic |
This doesn’t mean being fake or overly nice. It means operating from abundance instead of fear.
7. Jealousy vs. Envy vs. Competition: Know the Difference
These terms get thrown around a lot, but they’re not the same:
| Emotion | Definition | Productive? |
|---|---|---|
| Jealousy | Fear of losing something you already have (status, role, attention) | Sometimes |
| Envy | Pain at seeing someone else have something you want | Rarely |
| Competition | Desire to outperform others, ideally within fair rules | Often |
According to Wikipedia, envy can be destructive, but in its milder forms, it can motivate self-improvement. The key difference is whether it leads to resentment or growth.
8. What Not to Do When Dealing with Jealousy
Let’s run through a list of what to absolutely not do, whether you’re the jealous one or the target:
| Don’t… | Why? |
|---|---|
| Gossip about others’ success | Makes you look bitter and insecure |
| Downplay your wins to appease others | Undermines your value and confidence |
| Seek revenge or try to “one-up” | Fuels a toxic dynamic |
| Ignore signs of sabotage | Can escalate into bigger professional risks |
| Pretend you’re unaffected | Unprocessed emotions don’t go away—they come out sideways |
Instead, acknowledge, assess, and act with intention.
9. How Jealousy Affects Mental Health at Work
Jealousy isn’t just a petty emotion. Over time, it can lead to:
- Anxiety
- Burnout
- Impostor syndrome
- Workplace depression
- Cynicism and distrust
Especially when you’re on the receiving end of constant subtle digs, exclusion, or discrediting. If it gets too much, don’t be afraid to talk to someone—a mentor, coach, or mental health professional.
There’s no shame in saying, “I’m doing well, but the fallout is starting to take a toll.”
If you feel isolated, try group coaching or forums focused on professional growth. You’d be surprised how many high-performers deal with the exact same issues behind closed doors.
10. Reclaiming Your Power
Whether you’re fighting off feelings of jealousy or navigating others’ envy, it helps to keep this in mind:
You are not responsible for how others feel about your success. But you are responsible for how you show up.
Jealousy becomes toxic when we let it fester or weaponize it. It becomes powerful when we use it as a signal—a reminder of what we care about, what we want, and where we’re ready to grow.
A Final Word: Normalizing the Conversation
Here’s the truth: everyone feels jealousy at work sometimes. The promotion you didn’t get. The recognition someone else got. The project you weren’t picked for. We’ve all been there.
The difference between those who thrive and those who spiral is what they do next.
Do you stew? Or do you strategize?
Do you lash out? Or do you level up?
Let’s stop pretending jealousy is something only “bad” or “immature” people feel. It’s not. It’s part of being human. But like all emotions, it’s meant to be felt, understood, and then managed with clarity and courage.
Useful Resources
- Psychology Today: The True Nature of Jealousy – An in-depth look at the emotional and cognitive underpinnings of jealousy.
- Wikipedia: Envy – Helpful distinctions between envy, jealousy, and competitiveness in various contexts.
If your workplace is drowning in silent rivalries and competitive bitterness, maybe it’s time for professional development coaching or conflict resolution workshops.
If you’re the one feeling low-key resentful? Try journaling. Try reaching out. Try building something you can be proud of. Because success doesn’t have to be a zero-sum game—and neither does happiness at work.
Handle jealousy smartly, and you don’t just survive office politics—you rise above them.
